Who am I and Why and I here?

I used to think I knew the answers to these questions. I grew up in a church that made up the answers and told me that I didn't have to worry about anything. As long as I followed the rules they way they declared them, I would be fit for heaven.

The problem was, my intuition told me that something was wrong. For years, I tried to do the right things according to the definitions of the church I grew up in. For years, my intuition nagged at me.

Until, finally . . . . something broke loose. I was able to leave the religion of my youth. But I wasn't free. Not yet. I discovered that I had years and years worth of baggage. Of not feeling "good enough" of believing God was vengeful and had a thing for placing those He was supposed to love into impossible double-binds. And anger. Lots and lots of it.

A counselor once told me that the anger I was savoring was like a chain on my ankle. Tethering me. Like the great, powerful circus elephants are tethered by a chain to a cement block that is insignificant when compared to the power of the creature it binds. But the binding remains. Because the beast believes in the binding.

Through a series of events that are too numerous to recount here, I came to understand that the intuitive blessings I received through God's reaching toward me without reference to the religion I followed were connections to the Divine. Connections that are part of who I am.

Now, I am free. But I am just at the beginning stages of my spiritual growth. I can feel an emerging taking place. And I feel to write.

I believe that too many of us squelch our intuitive knowings and allow our connections with God to be extinguished by someone or something outside of us that claims to be our authority.

I am here because I am just one woman who has had that experience and I am freeing myself of it and giving myself permission to feel and know God without reference to directions counter to my intuitive sense.

I'm sharing my journey because I know some people are curious about how I arrived where I am. I know there are others who would be strengthened by a voice of exploration that implies the freedom to do the same. I'm sharing my journey because sharing it is part of the joy of taking the journey in the first place.

That's who I am and why I am here. At least, for now.