I know, I know. Yesterday, I said that I wasn't going to write any more. Today, I started thinking about something and the difference it makes. I have to say something. In fact, the reason I didn't just take my blog down yesterday is because I realize this journey has ebbs and flows. What I write about today has personal relevance - but it isn't a personal experience of the nature I've decided to maintain only in my heart. So, here goes . . . .
I have thought a lot about - but only referred to it minimally - the concept that Mormonism adds too much "fluff" to what is Sacred and that the end result is a dilution of a seeker's experience of God. Recently, I've had personal experience with one of the most significant differences between Mormon teachings and direct communion with God.
It is Jesus.
According to Mormon Doctrine, Jesus is the "Firstborn" of all of "Heavenly Father's Spirit Children." As the story goes, God and his wife created a whole mess of children in spiritual form and then God created an earth to send his spirit children to the earth so their spiritual bodies could be housed in flesh and they could work out their salvation (and become Gods themselves, if they are successful).
Orthodox Christianity teaches that at the moment of conception, the human being is created: body and soul. Before that moment, the "spirit" doesn't exist. So, when Christ becomes God Incarnate in Mary's womb, HE becomes the Only Son of God.
Often, Mormons refer to Jesus as "Our Elder Brother." I find it interesting that my experience of Jesus has been so much more profound with the understanding that He is not my older brother, but the Only Begotten Son of God. Our Lord.
Again, a theme I've pointed to before. In our human way of being, a brother is fallible. A family-like relationship with God (in my outspoken opinion) makes for a too casual view of God.
If Jesus is Holy and the only relationship I have with Him is that by God's Grace, He took on the form of flesh to teach me that I can approach God by following Him, it changes things. At least, for me. As a Mormon, my thoughts about and approach to God were much more arrogant. Much more.
But then again, that is what was taught to me. After all, isn't it arrogant to disregard the Church Fathers who preserved the wisdom and rituals of Christ's Church as He established it in favor of saying that Christ's church had disappeared so you (I won't say who - J.S.) can create your own church and call it Christ's?
Isn't it arrogant to say that the Bible was incorrectly interpreted so you, J.S., can re-interpret at will? (Say nothing of the ancient writings of the Fathers who lived during and shortly after Jesus' mortal reign.)
Interesting, the ancient church has been very resistant to change. Orthodoxy requires the consent of the whole church following an ecumenical counsel. The Orthodox church has only recognized 7. But, you (J.S.) set up a system that changes regularly.
Also interesting - J.S. says that the Bible is correct only if translated appropriately. He used the idea that it had too many interpretations and that he gave the correct interpretation. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?
But I digress. I no longer see myself as Christ's little sister. I no longer look at God as my Heavenly Father.
I have no special mission to fulfill because of my "Divine Heritage."
Pure and simple, I am God's creation but the only import of that is that the Divine Spark in me that was implanted at my birth draws me to Him.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
A Different Direction
I've been thinking a lot about sharing my spiritual journey and I'm coming to a point where I'm feeling more and more speechless. I'm finding that the things I'm learning defy linguistic description.
And, my journey is becoming intensely personal.
I attended my first High Mass on Sunday at St. Michael's Orthodox Church in Whittier.
I thought I would blog about it, but I really can't.
The only thing I will say is that the entire (1 1/2 hour service) focused on the Eucharist. It is the center of worship. It felt right to me. Like worship should be.
So, I'm going to stop sharing about my personal journey because it is becoming so much more personal.
Maybe, I'll write again in the future. But for now, I want to rely less on words and more on this experience in primary form.
And, my journey is becoming intensely personal.
I attended my first High Mass on Sunday at St. Michael's Orthodox Church in Whittier.
I thought I would blog about it, but I really can't.
The only thing I will say is that the entire (1 1/2 hour service) focused on the Eucharist. It is the center of worship. It felt right to me. Like worship should be.
So, I'm going to stop sharing about my personal journey because it is becoming so much more personal.
Maybe, I'll write again in the future. But for now, I want to rely less on words and more on this experience in primary form.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Nagging Questions
When I first left the Mormon church, there were many questions that I chose to leave unanswered for my family. I had known the "comfort" of believing I had all of the answers to this life and the next. I remember feeling "at peace" because the path to Salvation had been laid out for me in a neatly-wrapped package that is Mormon Doctrine. And, I remember how completely devastated I was when I realized that the church was not true. I believed there could be no life after Mormonism. I remember one conversation, in particular, when a loved one and I were talking about and making the decision that I would not share the "what I found" part of leaving the Church because it would shake my loved one's faith. Looking back on that, I wonder if I would have made a different decision if we had that same conversation today.
It's interesting, because one of the injunctions a "good Mormon" must apply to their lives is the promise to be a "Member Missionary" and share the Mormon version of the "Good News" with family and friends. I never felt good about doing that. I never shared. I never prayed for "Golden Opportunities" to present themselves into which I could step and share the word according to Mormons. I might even feel guilty about one of my friends joining the church under my influence, but she made it very clear that it wasn't me: she had been influenced by many Mormons before she joined.
For whatever that's worth.
So, I find myself sitting at my computer now and thinking about so many Nagging Questions. Not necessarily the questions I haven't answered for my loved ones. But, more so the Nagging Questions I burn to ask them.
Recently, I got married. One of my loved ones was so blinded by the fact that I write about my spiritual journey in a public way that, among other things that I won't mention here, that loved one openly attacked me regarding my wedding. Publicly. I have always been very careful not to be unkind, so I was surprised when I was accused of attacking that loved one. So, I asked: Tell me, specifically, how I attack or have attacked you. I truly wanted to know. The answer: "When you attack my Religion, you attack me!"
Ok. Interesting. I didn't even know how to respond to that. (I did respond in a not-so gracious response that has led to a schism between me and that family member. A schism I - in an un-Christian manner - don't want to heal.)Seems that my personal journey cannot occur in a public forum (where, I imagine, other post-mormons are exploring and looking for a shared spiritual experience) without being a direct attack on the people I love. It makes me sad.
But it also makes me want to ask my own nagging questions.
What would happen to you if you realized that the Church you built your life around was untrue?
Would it kill you?
I thought it might kill me. But, I landed on my feet. I've learned that God still loves me. I've learned that my relationship to God can grow stronger when I'm not saddled with copious amounts of false doctrine (heresy as it could be called in my current understanding).
What would life be like if you could just take a breath and realize that maybe, just maybe . . . . you could survive without the church?
I remember the free-fall I felt when I said goodbye to my Church membership. I lost an entire social support system. It meant I had to rely on myself. It meant I was alone for a while. Difficult, yes. Impossible, no.
I would say that it was less difficult than it would be to wake up on the other side only to find that the temple secrets I had guarded my whole life were invalid because God isn't a Mormon!
I know why you are afraid. I felt that fear. I was completely overcome by it when I realized the Truth - before I left the church.
But I would rather be awake and understand that I spent my whole life in a church that could not offer me salvation than to stay there because it is more convenient to pretend. Or to not ruffle the feathers of the people who are important to me.
I want to be right with God. That is why I left the Mormon Church.
My most nagging question is: Why can't you consider the possibility that to be right with God, you have to look at the whole picture?
In the deepest parts of my heart while I still lived as a Mormon, I hoped the church was true. Because if it wasn't my life was hypocricy.
Why are you afraid to find out for yourself? If you investigate everything available to you and find the church is true, you will be that much stronger, right?
But your church authorities don't want you to know the whole truth. They want you to keep believing their lies.
If someone were lying to me, I would want to know.
Another nagging question: Why don't you?
It's interesting, because one of the injunctions a "good Mormon" must apply to their lives is the promise to be a "Member Missionary" and share the Mormon version of the "Good News" with family and friends. I never felt good about doing that. I never shared. I never prayed for "Golden Opportunities" to present themselves into which I could step and share the word according to Mormons. I might even feel guilty about one of my friends joining the church under my influence, but she made it very clear that it wasn't me: she had been influenced by many Mormons before she joined.
For whatever that's worth.
So, I find myself sitting at my computer now and thinking about so many Nagging Questions. Not necessarily the questions I haven't answered for my loved ones. But, more so the Nagging Questions I burn to ask them.
Recently, I got married. One of my loved ones was so blinded by the fact that I write about my spiritual journey in a public way that, among other things that I won't mention here, that loved one openly attacked me regarding my wedding. Publicly. I have always been very careful not to be unkind, so I was surprised when I was accused of attacking that loved one. So, I asked: Tell me, specifically, how I attack or have attacked you. I truly wanted to know. The answer: "When you attack my Religion, you attack me!"
Ok. Interesting. I didn't even know how to respond to that. (I did respond in a not-so gracious response that has led to a schism between me and that family member. A schism I - in an un-Christian manner - don't want to heal.)Seems that my personal journey cannot occur in a public forum (where, I imagine, other post-mormons are exploring and looking for a shared spiritual experience) without being a direct attack on the people I love. It makes me sad.
But it also makes me want to ask my own nagging questions.
What would happen to you if you realized that the Church you built your life around was untrue?
Would it kill you?
I thought it might kill me. But, I landed on my feet. I've learned that God still loves me. I've learned that my relationship to God can grow stronger when I'm not saddled with copious amounts of false doctrine (heresy as it could be called in my current understanding).
What would life be like if you could just take a breath and realize that maybe, just maybe . . . . you could survive without the church?
I remember the free-fall I felt when I said goodbye to my Church membership. I lost an entire social support system. It meant I had to rely on myself. It meant I was alone for a while. Difficult, yes. Impossible, no.
I would say that it was less difficult than it would be to wake up on the other side only to find that the temple secrets I had guarded my whole life were invalid because God isn't a Mormon!
I know why you are afraid. I felt that fear. I was completely overcome by it when I realized the Truth - before I left the church.
But I would rather be awake and understand that I spent my whole life in a church that could not offer me salvation than to stay there because it is more convenient to pretend. Or to not ruffle the feathers of the people who are important to me.
I want to be right with God. That is why I left the Mormon Church.
My most nagging question is: Why can't you consider the possibility that to be right with God, you have to look at the whole picture?
In the deepest parts of my heart while I still lived as a Mormon, I hoped the church was true. Because if it wasn't my life was hypocricy.
Why are you afraid to find out for yourself? If you investigate everything available to you and find the church is true, you will be that much stronger, right?
But your church authorities don't want you to know the whole truth. They want you to keep believing their lies.
If someone were lying to me, I would want to know.
Another nagging question: Why don't you?
Monday, February 14, 2011
Where is Truth: In Antiquity or Modern Times?
In my search for meaning and understanding, I've found it most useful to read the writings of 2nd and 3rd century church fathers who spent their lives studying in their attempts to align themselves with God.
Today, when I see where I've been, it gives me pause. The more I learn, the more I think that contemporary religious movements designed through some sort of supposed divine guidance are merely attempts to create comfort for and to ensure conformity from the masses. They exist in sharp contrast to the process marked by the ancients: a path mainly involving meditation, contemplation and personal transformation. The spiritual path as a personal path rather than as a pied-piper path to wealth, popularity and power.
The more I study and explore, the more I am coming to appreciate the concepts associated with Catholicism. Not the Roman Catholicism that most of us assume to have a general idea about from an outside view, but a broader view of Catholicism.
From Wikipedia:
I am finding great interest in the idea of studying a universal religion of general interest that is liberal in its exploration of areas of mystery related to God. The thing I find most interesting about this school of thinking is that it allows me to study without reference to exclusionary doctrines.
It is freeing. Liberating. It carries a broad message through which people of many varied levels of belief and spiritual development can find growth, transformation and enlightenment. For some reason, I think this is the kind of religion God would intend for humankind.
As I write this, my mind goes to last Sunday morning's church experience. My husband provided the sermon for the Unity of the Crossroads Church in Riverside, California. His talk was decidedly Catholic (which I understood based upon my recent studies - very different from the sermons of the Unity slant - which I have listened to for much of the past year). I watched as the congregation were moved by the Spirit moving through my spouse. With a Catholic message. The congregation were united, uplifted and inspired. The message was broad and rich; while providing a specific call to action for personal and communal transformation. The concepts were beautiful. A Catholic message that appealed to a Unity congregation. Simply. Beautifully.
My Sunday morning experience provided a stark contrast to the experiences of my roots in Mormonism. Mormons often refer to Catholicism as the "great and abominable church" or the church of the devil. The basic assumption is that all churches or organizations that are designed to take men away from God comprise the church of the devil. Mormon scholars and lay scriptorians will point to the pageantry, rituals, symbolism and rites of Catholicism and accuse the oldest Christian religion of taking men from God. It's curious.
In my experience and opinion, the reading of the ancient fathers related to the Catholic belief have brought me closer to God. And, informed by ancient wisdom related to God and the Universe, Catholic rites feel rich, symbolic and nourishing. In so many ways, what I am learning is so much simpler, yet so much more rich than anything I've ever encountered in a religious forum before.
It brings me to conclude that in the attempt to make religion more accessible to the masses, modern men messed it up. I'm speaking of all of the Protestant sects that rebelled against the old ways. True, the Catholic institution may have become corrupted, but why throw out the old teachings and ritual ceremonies that carry so much spiritual power while rejecting more modern policies?
So, in rebellion, Protestant sects developed. Among them, Mormonism, with it's unique vision of God: as a man perfected. Why would Joseph Smith decide to proclaim that he had seen a vision wherein God and Jesus personally appeared to him in the form of men having flesh and blood?
I've written about this before. We can't help but place human definitions on God. But our definitions of God have nothing to do with the reality of God.
Let's listen to ancient wisdom (as explored by Clement in "The Roots of Christian Mysticism":
So, what would be the appeal of making God into a man (as Joseph Smith did)? For God's purposes, God became incarnate (in the person of Christ) so that through our physical experience, God could communicate to us in a way that we understand. So that God could lead us home. God speaking our language and using The Son as God's vehicle to create such a miracle.
But the story of Mormonism added so much more to the simple, beautiful story that still works when God is left to do it God's way. God, who is the origin of the Universe we know, the reason we breathe and the force that brings draws us to Divinity doesn't need man's help. In fact, I believe that reducing the Creator to a man does irreparable harm (see my previous post about this).
Today, I understand what non-Mormons saw as Joseph Smith worship - an idea that confused me while I still lived under the foggy-veil of the Mormon Church. God doesn't need Joseph Smith's help. Mormon folklore says that Joseph Smith has done more for mankind, save Jesus Christ himself, than any other man on the earth. I agree - more to pull God's creatures away from direct communion with God. But, why?
I think there were several things in play at the time. During Joseph Smith's youth, there was a great deal of energy and fervor regarding religious and spiritual things. Many men were recognizing that they could acquire a great deal of popularity and power by calling out their particular brand of doctrine and watching the masses follow them like so many lost flocks after shepherds who promised to know the way.
Joseph Smith, young and impressionable (yes, and uneducated as to the ancient spiritual fathers' teachings), got caught up in the fervor. Whether he was charlatan enough to make up the story of the first vision of God and Jesus before him - telling him no church was correct - or whether he was simply mentally off doesn't seem to matter. His hunger for power and/or delusionary states caught on and he got his own followers. Followers who still revere him today -
But, let's look at some of the ways Joseph's dogma differs from ancient wisdom.
The first is one I've explored here and in previous posts: Joseph Smith appealed to the human desire to understand God in human terms and proclaimed that God is simply an exalted human. Neatly packaged in terms easy for human beings to understand, we can use God for our own purposes. We can blame God when things don't go our way. We can shake our fists in the air at God as if God were just like the parent we have unresolved issues with. But, when we do those things, we are relating to an idol of our own creation - a human God. And, we limit ourselves. Unfortunately, Mormonism has this doctrine built in via Joseph's first vision. One of the first "testimonies" that a Mormon initiate must gain. (For a partial discussion of the nature of God, see the post I already referred to above.)
Another twist on ancient Truth involves Joseph Smith's assertions that the link of the priesthood was broken, so that Spiritual Gifts, Communion with God via the Holy Spirit and Priesthood authority could only be enjoyed through the authority supposedly granted him during his organization of the church. Mormons teach that a personal connection to God can only occur once one has been baptized a Mormon and confirmed a member of the Mormon church and been given the opportunity to Receive the Holy Ghost. While I was Mormon, I often wondered how other Christians could feel connected with God.
Now I know. This point makes me saddest for the Mormons. My connection with God has been intensified since I left the Mormon church. Communion with God is not an exclusive right of members of the "Only True and Correct Church on the Face of the Earth." No. In fact, Mormons would say that I am now relegated to the circle outside of the gifts of being touched by God's Spirit.
What I've found by personal experience is that I've been under God's influence in spite of my upbringing as a Mormon. Now that I've left Mormonism, I feel God more intensely. And I don't have to pray and pray and pray to feel it. I recognize that the spark that I feel inside of me is the Divinity that draws me to God. I'm moved by spiritual things much more easily than before. I have so much more joy in my life. My heart is open and changing. It is God's Grace like I've never felt before.
These are things I only hoped for and struggled to attain as a Mormon. They (the Mormons) make it too hard.
You don't have to be in the special Mormon club to connect with God. You don't need to hold the special Mormon priesthood to act in God's name. It makes me sad that they believe this way. That they have no idea of the joy that comes by stepping outside of the maze that is created by the Mormon Theology.
Another myth of the Mormon Theology is that the priesthood had to be restored because it was gone from the earth after the death of Our Lord. In my recent attendance at Catechism for the Orthodox Church, I learned otherwise. But it is unlikely that Mormons would get the history of the Old Church from the Old Church! They say that if you want to know about Mormonism, ask a Mormon - not someone else. But, they will "adjust" history to say that the Church was completely eliminated from the earth during the early centuries - to make way for the new Mormon Myth. It is simply untrue.
But, correctly packaged, a religion that takes people's focus away from the true nature of Spirituality makes the spiritual journey different. I wouldn't say easier or more fun, because I found Mormonism flat and unfulfilling during my last few years there. Too loaded with lists of things to do that kept me too busy and worried to correctly focus my daily life on God.
Yesterday, I attended my first High Mass in the Orthodox Church. It was beautiful and sacred. I'll write more about it and my thoughts about how that contrasts with my Protestant experience in a new post.
But, it suffices to say that since I left the Mormon church, I am experiencing a new level of awareness: that spirituality involves becoming increasingly open to personal, direct contact with God. And the dogma of protestant churches miss the point when they are doing things like splitting hairs of doctrine; that it is inner transformation that is the key. And there are powerful spiritual tools that have been available to us since the beginning of Christian history - but they require a different kind of discipline to acquire.
I want the meat. In my experience, the Protestant (specifically, the Mormon) way drowns the meat in a confusing casserole of story telling and silly rules that left me hungering for something more. A hunger that I am finding can be satisfied by partaking of the Truths preserved through antiquity.
*Just as an afterthought - In my journey, my husband points things out he thinks I'm missing. In this case, he keeps saying that the Orthodox have rules, too. Well, not like this!!! This article is tongue-in-cheek, but not far off the mark! Relief Society President Released After Confession
Today, when I see where I've been, it gives me pause. The more I learn, the more I think that contemporary religious movements designed through some sort of supposed divine guidance are merely attempts to create comfort for and to ensure conformity from the masses. They exist in sharp contrast to the process marked by the ancients: a path mainly involving meditation, contemplation and personal transformation. The spiritual path as a personal path rather than as a pied-piper path to wealth, popularity and power.
The more I study and explore, the more I am coming to appreciate the concepts associated with Catholicism. Not the Roman Catholicism that most of us assume to have a general idea about from an outside view, but a broader view of Catholicism.
From Wikipedia:
The word catholic (derived via Late Latin catholicus, from the Greek adjective καθολικός (katholikos), meaning "universal"[1][2]) comes from the Greek phrase καθόλου (kath'holou), meaning "on the whole," "according to the whole" or "in general", and is a combination of the Greek words κατά meaning "about" and όλος meaning "whole".[3][4] The word in English can mean either "including a wide variety of things; all-embracing" or "of the Roman Catholic faith." as "relating to the historic doctrine and practice of the Western Church."[5]
It was first used to describe the Christian Church in the early 2nd century to emphasize its universal scope [italics added]. In the context of Christian ecclesiology, it has a rich history and several usages. In non-ecclesiastical use, it derives its English meaning directly from its root, and is currently used to mean
* universal or of general interest; or
* liberal, having broad interests, or wide sympathies.[6]
I am finding great interest in the idea of studying a universal religion of general interest that is liberal in its exploration of areas of mystery related to God. The thing I find most interesting about this school of thinking is that it allows me to study without reference to exclusionary doctrines.
It is freeing. Liberating. It carries a broad message through which people of many varied levels of belief and spiritual development can find growth, transformation and enlightenment. For some reason, I think this is the kind of religion God would intend for humankind.
As I write this, my mind goes to last Sunday morning's church experience. My husband provided the sermon for the Unity of the Crossroads Church in Riverside, California. His talk was decidedly Catholic (which I understood based upon my recent studies - very different from the sermons of the Unity slant - which I have listened to for much of the past year). I watched as the congregation were moved by the Spirit moving through my spouse. With a Catholic message. The congregation were united, uplifted and inspired. The message was broad and rich; while providing a specific call to action for personal and communal transformation. The concepts were beautiful. A Catholic message that appealed to a Unity congregation. Simply. Beautifully.
My Sunday morning experience provided a stark contrast to the experiences of my roots in Mormonism. Mormons often refer to Catholicism as the "great and abominable church" or the church of the devil. The basic assumption is that all churches or organizations that are designed to take men away from God comprise the church of the devil. Mormon scholars and lay scriptorians will point to the pageantry, rituals, symbolism and rites of Catholicism and accuse the oldest Christian religion of taking men from God. It's curious.
In my experience and opinion, the reading of the ancient fathers related to the Catholic belief have brought me closer to God. And, informed by ancient wisdom related to God and the Universe, Catholic rites feel rich, symbolic and nourishing. In so many ways, what I am learning is so much simpler, yet so much more rich than anything I've ever encountered in a religious forum before.
It brings me to conclude that in the attempt to make religion more accessible to the masses, modern men messed it up. I'm speaking of all of the Protestant sects that rebelled against the old ways. True, the Catholic institution may have become corrupted, but why throw out the old teachings and ritual ceremonies that carry so much spiritual power while rejecting more modern policies?
So, in rebellion, Protestant sects developed. Among them, Mormonism, with it's unique vision of God: as a man perfected. Why would Joseph Smith decide to proclaim that he had seen a vision wherein God and Jesus personally appeared to him in the form of men having flesh and blood?
I've written about this before. We can't help but place human definitions on God. But our definitions of God have nothing to do with the reality of God.
Let's listen to ancient wisdom (as explored by Clement in "The Roots of Christian Mysticism":
"People never cease to project on to God their individual and collective obsessions, so that they can appropriate and make use of him. But they ought to understand that God cannot be apprehended from without, as if he were an object, for with him there is no outside, nor can the Creator be set side by side with the creature . . . . " Olivier Clement then quotes Clement of Alexandria "Most people are enclosed in their mortal bodies like a snail in its shell, curled up in their obsessions after the manner of hedgehogs. They form their notion of God's blessedness taking themselves for a model." And Theophilus of Antioch: "Seeds in a pomegranate cannot see objects outside its rind, because they are inside. Similarly human beings who are enclosed with all creation in the hand of God cannot see God . . . Friend, it is through him that you are speaking, it is he whom you breathe, and you do not know it! For your eye is blind, your heart hardened. But, if you wish, you can be cured. Entrust yourself to the doctor, and he will open the eyes of your soul and your heart. Who is the doctor? God, using his word and his wisdom . . . ." Finally, Gregory of Nyssa: "Every concept formed by the intellect in an attempt to comprehend and circumscribe the divine nature can succeed only in fashioning an idol, not in making God known."
So, what would be the appeal of making God into a man (as Joseph Smith did)? For God's purposes, God became incarnate (in the person of Christ) so that through our physical experience, God could communicate to us in a way that we understand. So that God could lead us home. God speaking our language and using The Son as God's vehicle to create such a miracle.
But the story of Mormonism added so much more to the simple, beautiful story that still works when God is left to do it God's way. God, who is the origin of the Universe we know, the reason we breathe and the force that brings draws us to Divinity doesn't need man's help. In fact, I believe that reducing the Creator to a man does irreparable harm (see my previous post about this).
Today, I understand what non-Mormons saw as Joseph Smith worship - an idea that confused me while I still lived under the foggy-veil of the Mormon Church. God doesn't need Joseph Smith's help. Mormon folklore says that Joseph Smith has done more for mankind, save Jesus Christ himself, than any other man on the earth. I agree - more to pull God's creatures away from direct communion with God. But, why?
I think there were several things in play at the time. During Joseph Smith's youth, there was a great deal of energy and fervor regarding religious and spiritual things. Many men were recognizing that they could acquire a great deal of popularity and power by calling out their particular brand of doctrine and watching the masses follow them like so many lost flocks after shepherds who promised to know the way.
Joseph Smith, young and impressionable (yes, and uneducated as to the ancient spiritual fathers' teachings), got caught up in the fervor. Whether he was charlatan enough to make up the story of the first vision of God and Jesus before him - telling him no church was correct - or whether he was simply mentally off doesn't seem to matter. His hunger for power and/or delusionary states caught on and he got his own followers. Followers who still revere him today -
But, let's look at some of the ways Joseph's dogma differs from ancient wisdom.
The first is one I've explored here and in previous posts: Joseph Smith appealed to the human desire to understand God in human terms and proclaimed that God is simply an exalted human. Neatly packaged in terms easy for human beings to understand, we can use God for our own purposes. We can blame God when things don't go our way. We can shake our fists in the air at God as if God were just like the parent we have unresolved issues with. But, when we do those things, we are relating to an idol of our own creation - a human God. And, we limit ourselves. Unfortunately, Mormonism has this doctrine built in via Joseph's first vision. One of the first "testimonies" that a Mormon initiate must gain. (For a partial discussion of the nature of God, see the post I already referred to above.)
Another twist on ancient Truth involves Joseph Smith's assertions that the link of the priesthood was broken, so that Spiritual Gifts, Communion with God via the Holy Spirit and Priesthood authority could only be enjoyed through the authority supposedly granted him during his organization of the church. Mormons teach that a personal connection to God can only occur once one has been baptized a Mormon and confirmed a member of the Mormon church and been given the opportunity to Receive the Holy Ghost. While I was Mormon, I often wondered how other Christians could feel connected with God.
Now I know. This point makes me saddest for the Mormons. My connection with God has been intensified since I left the Mormon church. Communion with God is not an exclusive right of members of the "Only True and Correct Church on the Face of the Earth." No. In fact, Mormons would say that I am now relegated to the circle outside of the gifts of being touched by God's Spirit.
What I've found by personal experience is that I've been under God's influence in spite of my upbringing as a Mormon. Now that I've left Mormonism, I feel God more intensely. And I don't have to pray and pray and pray to feel it. I recognize that the spark that I feel inside of me is the Divinity that draws me to God. I'm moved by spiritual things much more easily than before. I have so much more joy in my life. My heart is open and changing. It is God's Grace like I've never felt before.
These are things I only hoped for and struggled to attain as a Mormon. They (the Mormons) make it too hard.
You don't have to be in the special Mormon club to connect with God. You don't need to hold the special Mormon priesthood to act in God's name. It makes me sad that they believe this way. That they have no idea of the joy that comes by stepping outside of the maze that is created by the Mormon Theology.
Another myth of the Mormon Theology is that the priesthood had to be restored because it was gone from the earth after the death of Our Lord. In my recent attendance at Catechism for the Orthodox Church, I learned otherwise. But it is unlikely that Mormons would get the history of the Old Church from the Old Church! They say that if you want to know about Mormonism, ask a Mormon - not someone else. But, they will "adjust" history to say that the Church was completely eliminated from the earth during the early centuries - to make way for the new Mormon Myth. It is simply untrue.
But, correctly packaged, a religion that takes people's focus away from the true nature of Spirituality makes the spiritual journey different. I wouldn't say easier or more fun, because I found Mormonism flat and unfulfilling during my last few years there. Too loaded with lists of things to do that kept me too busy and worried to correctly focus my daily life on God.
Yesterday, I attended my first High Mass in the Orthodox Church. It was beautiful and sacred. I'll write more about it and my thoughts about how that contrasts with my Protestant experience in a new post.
But, it suffices to say that since I left the Mormon church, I am experiencing a new level of awareness: that spirituality involves becoming increasingly open to personal, direct contact with God. And the dogma of protestant churches miss the point when they are doing things like splitting hairs of doctrine; that it is inner transformation that is the key. And there are powerful spiritual tools that have been available to us since the beginning of Christian history - but they require a different kind of discipline to acquire.
I want the meat. In my experience, the Protestant (specifically, the Mormon) way drowns the meat in a confusing casserole of story telling and silly rules that left me hungering for something more. A hunger that I am finding can be satisfied by partaking of the Truths preserved through antiquity.
*Just as an afterthought - In my journey, my husband points things out he thinks I'm missing. In this case, he keeps saying that the Orthodox have rules, too. Well, not like this!!! This article is tongue-in-cheek, but not far off the mark! Relief Society President Released After Confession
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